Your Professional Polyamourist Girlfriend!
There are long used terms like "Courtesan", "Sugar baby", "kept woman", "companion", "mistress"(I used the lower case... upper case is for another time). I appreciate these words, I value what they mean according to their definition, and I have utilized every single last one of them. You see I am...
Your Professional Polyamourist Girlfriend!
I typically try to limit the number of plans I have in any given time period. Gone are the days of whirlwind activities, and driving from one place to another. I just don't want to have that kind of experience at this time. It is not who I am, and it doesn't fit my day to day life. That type of experience would really change this experience for all parties involved.
Perhaps by seeking less, I am gaining far more.
I have very little difficulty putting information out, or posting ads for myself. In fact I could probably have made this a full time endeavour if I had chosen to. I could tweet availability each day/week, post sugar ads, blog posts, forum posts, photos and description on lists, profiles where I actually post my availability. There is nothing wrong with doing any of these, and sometimes if the mood strikes me I may do just this (a girl's got needs too you know). I just don't want anyone mistakenly thinking that a lack of posted ads or schedule means I am not available, or I am uninterested.
I am very naturally polyamourous. It resonates so deeply within me that when I have removed myself for the chance of having it in my life I felt like I was suffocating. I know this possibly dispels some fantasy that we will run off into the sunset together... Unless you're just like me. Then we can run off into the sunset, arrive at some fantastic resort, and decide whom we wish to pounce. Together or separate. I do love adventure vacations, and there are some rather spectacular places with very friendly visitors and locals.
What does this mean for us?
What this means for my life is that I seek, and am sought out by those who appreciate the simple fact that I wish to brighten their life. Without the "nitty gritty", "day to day" stuff that can sometimes get in the way. I want to embrace you, enjoy you, and let you be the one to reach out when you are available. I cannot be the one saying "we never seeeeee each other". Just typing it makes my eyebrow raise a bit. Though if this is truly what you seek then I will gladly sit down with you, iron out a schedule, make an arrangement and facilitate the "more intense girlfriend experience".
Did you send me a quick "Good morning, I hope you have a wonderful day beautiful"? Once I am able to see it then I will reply (unless I am given a specific window of time and I missed it). I have to be honest though... I probably won't send a message first unless I know you are not otherwise preoccupied, are without possibility of it being intercepted, I am passing through your area, or you have explicitly instructed me that it is okay for me to reach out at any time day or night. I respect you enough to value you. I respect you enough not to place unfair expectations of perceived loyalty, or have misconceptions about contacting you without provocation. That comes with the word "professional" being a part of my descriptor.
Professional has nothing to do with the bottom line, and everything to do with the brass tacks!
(the idiom brass tacks means to get down to the basics, or essentials)
The essentials of our relationship means neither one of us should place any undue strain, or restriction upon the other. We should be respectful of each others time, and the arrangement we have in place. Sometimes we are able to flirt, sometimes we can communicate directly, sometimes we can spend time with one another... But there should be no expectation of this unless it is an established component. There should also be no reason for either party to feel as if they are unable to spend time with other partners. Welcome to the word "polyamourous"!
Polyamourous! You mean you want to marry me?
(polyamourous means that you date multiple people at the same time with all parties being aware this is the case)
I am Solo Poly which is something a bit more complicated then this blog post is going to cover. There is a huge range within being Solo Poly, but there is a defining characteristic that many Solo Poly people intend to remain "single-ish" indefinitely. This is not to say that I do not wish to date, but it does mean that I am not comfortable pursuing anything that promotes a relationship ladder where the top rung is cohabitation, shared finances, and those social behaviours associated with marriage like dynamics.
Girlfriend? Do I have to call you every day?
(a regular female companion with whom a person has a romantic or sexual relationship )
Back to that earlier concept... I do not expect you to call me every day. Quite simply if you do I might actually start to have anxiety about the relationship ladder we are on if we haven't got an arrangement like that. I do absolutely love all the things that come along with being your girlfriend though. Stolen kisses, perhaps a coffee, holding hands, cuddling as close together as we possibly can. I make one heck of an awesome girlfriend (just as long as we are not sharing a closet... DO NOT LOOK IN THE CLOSET!
I do actually expect the behaviour you would extend someone you hope to date though. This means that if you wouldn't send the photo to your mother I probably shouldn't see it unless I have asked for it. Holding the door for me is simply chivalrous, and starting conversations with a hello is simple etiquette. I might not be a huge fan of extreme public displays of affection... The occasional members only club or private resort is entirely different!
I look forward to our stolen kisses!
See you soon,