Privacy and What's In A Name
If you've found my blog it likely that I've piqued your interest. Perhaps it was a photo, a tweet or even some post I've made online. However you have found me... This portion of our journey is just beginning.
A noun meaning either:
• the state or condition of being free from being observed or disturbed by other people.
• the state of being free from public attention.
The nature of this world that I've chosen to dip my toe into will inherently remove some of my expectations of privacy. In truth I come into this with my eyes wide open, and a fair amount of knowledge about what I am able to reasonably expect with regards to privacy.
You see... I have a secret.
This is not the first time that I've chosen to dip my toe in these waters.
To be perfectly honest... I was a well reviewed companion (aside from the one epic fiasco on my most recent adventure, and one from so far back that the wayback machine is calling). I'm also not dipping my toe back in 3 months after posting my retirement notice, and I do not make this decision lightly.
A bit about what brings me back:
Over the years I have seen innumerable ads claiming "I love what I do!". Then I've listened to the same person say something different in private, or watched them struggle with their inner peace at stake while trying to juggle this life and their personal life. I've learned from other people sharing their preconceived notions that I really should not include those words in any advertisement I put up. I have followed this personal rule in every incarnation I have had. I believe that my long standing connections, repeat encounters and the reception I'm given by those I'm acquainted with speaks to how I feel.
For what it's worth:
▪I love spending time with the people whom I've met.
▪ I love intimacy - holding hands, kissing, caressing another person and being caressed in return.
▪ I love conversation and communication - be it light & playful, seductive & sultry, deep & philosophical or even full of passionate opposition.
▪I love knowing that I've provided a way for another to experience those very same things that I love (and possibly more).
▪I love being able to justify the little niceties that go into practicing self care with relation to personal appearance and personal wellness (nails, hair, occasionally a new book), without feeling like this is negatively impacting my monthly budget.
▪I love being polyamorous and polysexual - I have the capacity to care for more than one person at a time, and I am completely enthralled with having multiple partners.
So in my effort to conform to the societal directives I was raised with... I've made the choice to step away from this in the past. I set aside the parts that brought me joy, and pleasure so that I was able to be what I thought I was supposed to be. Apparently I forgot one crucial part of the equation:
They drew me this way, and I am amazing just as I am.
When I returned, I did so with verve, and yet some personal situations (as well as privacy issues which cropped up) caused my headspace to not be in the correct place to enjoy this as fully as I had previously. I made the choice to step back again while I was still able to provide amazing experiences to those whom I saw.
I literally had to sever every tie and completely distance myself from this world.
On my exit I chose to share what providers talk about behind the scenes, and cited a 'crisis of available time' which was 100% accurate. I literally was unable to give the best I knew I could provide while still managing my personal and professional obligations elsewhere.
Life was a whirlwind for a time. That whirlwind even included a relocation to another area, and then relocation back to the GTA again.
My world settled, but something was missing:
I spent months getting things in line, and getting reacquainted with the places I'd come to love while I lived in the GTA. I was content, busy, having amazing experiences... Yet even with all of these things I was missing a piece of myself.
So a couple of weeks ago I logged into my new twitter account and started to really look around. I needed to see who might still be out here. As I have surfed social media I have reconnected with a few friends when they followed me back. Please let me say that I've not forgotten about you if I've not reached out yet - I'm either taking it slowly and trying to preserve privacy for you, or you're one of many whom I lost contact information for when I lost my old phone (please do reach out). I then located a play space with a friend, threw up a website in 22 hours after making the decision to have one, and further dipped my fingers into the social media circus...
I've noticed the changes, and yet I have been amazed once again by the constants which have remained. I've made the decision to take things slowly as I am approaching things differently this time.
Privacy & What's In A Name:
I welcome the opportunity to speak with you directly if you wish to reconnect.
I encourage you to post a 'retro' review with my amended moniker (or make new memories for us and write something fresh - your rates may be grandfathered in - please check with me).
I kindly ask that you direct curious people to me if they ask my prior names. I cannot stress this enough. Not everyone is safe, sane and consensual in MY past... Personally or professionally.
I also ask that you do not publicly link the names - I'm not hiding a sordid past. I'm hiding from those who search for those names without a positive goal.
As I said in a PM to a friend who spotted my writing style:
"Honey I'm home... Let's just go to bed!"