Compersion, Candaulism, & Jealousy
Updated: Nov 1, 2018
An Urban Dictionary Noun coined by Kerista Commune meaning:
• A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship.
*** Often called the antonym of jealousy. Seeing your partner/s get a crush on, hook up with, fall in love with, or in any other way romantically bond with other people, and feeling deep happiness, joy, and love for them.
A noun according to Urban Dictionary to mean any of the following:
• Refers to joy regarding the sexual activity of one's partner.
• A sexual practice or fantasy in which people expose their partner, or images of them, to other people for their voyeuristic pleasure.
• A practice involving one person observing, often from concealment, two others having sexual relations.
• Sexual arousal through watching two people having sex, particularly one's partner with another.
A noun meaning either:
• Upset and angry because someone that you love/have relations with seems interested in another person.
• Unhappy and angry because someone has something that you want.
Relationships & Friendships
Please let me start by saying:
I do not actually understand jealousy. I know I have said it elsewhere in my blog, but I felt the need to address these three nouns/emotional responses directly.
There have been times where I wished I could understand it fully, but that is not how my brain registers things. I can feel 'slighted' by the treatment of others. I can feel 'hurt' by the actions or inaction's of another. I can even feel 'attacked'/'dismissed'/'blindsided' by the words people choose to use in relation to perceptions they may have.
I am human.
A human with a kind heart, passionate soul, and a desire to love, and protect those whom I care about.
I truly do not understand those who would deliberately harm those they profess to care about.
I also understand the art of diplomacy (though I seem to forget it from time to time). The art of diplomacy is so often forgotten. Especially since companionship is a very personal experience.
A few years back a gentleman I knew was quite intrigued by a young lady who was caught up in a bit of online mire. I am using the word mire because it truly is appropriate in the forum wars that happen from time to time. He asked my opinion, and I freely gave it:
"See her, but be protective of your personal information, and forum identity. I have heard she is a wonderful provider."
Fast forward a little while later and it comes to my attention that another lady had started laying down ultimatums about men seeing women SHE did not want them to see. It became a 'them or me' situation. I truly was at a loss to find this information out. I couldn't quite understand the rationale behind it, but I did hear the stated reasons the woman had given. None of it made sense to me.
In truth I hear it regularly about amazing companions. I am so absolutely confused by this particular set of behaviours. Is it not the first thing we are taught upon entry to the school system? The skill of sharing. Perhaps I took it too far to heart.
The reason that none of it made sense to me was very simple:
I feel Compersion, and even have the pleasure of Candaulism... But I do not understand Jealousy, or the behaviors associated with that emotion. For the public record I would like to state: